Weekend (Part 2): Wild, Wet, Wonderland

It's saturday morning.

I can just feel myself beginning to rouse from a deep sleep. Something feels odd though, like a calm before the storm I get the immediate sense that something bad is about to happen. My eyes snap open and I see Louis standing over me with a kettle. Pouring ice cold water over me. I jolt upwards, quite panicked from this rude and sudden awakening. After regaining my composure and stripping off my sodden t-shirt I make my annoyance with Louis clear to him. He wasn't going to get away with that.

Well I'd be staying again that night so there would be plenty of oppurtunity to seek vengance. Oddly enough the police come calling sometime around half ten in the morning despite there being no further developments. I listen tiredly from Louis's room as he talks to them in the hallway. They seem surprised that someone had already come to the scene the previous night, it sounds like there was a lack of communication down at the station. At any rate with the final housemate still an unknown they soon leave again without really doing anything.

It's been decided that we were going to go see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland today. I wasn't especially thrilled, I've never been a big fan of Burtons stuff and the trailer for Alice didn't exactly fill me with confidence. Still I was outvoted so rather than being antisocial I followed Louis down to the train station to head back into the city center. We meet up with the rest of the group at the station, the topic of conversation quickly moves to the mysterious break in last night.

That thread of discussion doesn't last long unfortunately and soon it's laughs at my expense as Louis whips out his camera to show that he's shot a video of the mornings events. At this point I learn that the mastermind is my prison guard friend Matt, he and Louis had been exchanging text messages when he suggested it. I'm not overly annoyed at him though, suggesting stupid things like that is mostly harmless. Louis is still the target of my ire for actually carrying such an act out. As I point this out it only takes a few moments before my friends are dishing out ideas for revenge.

After a short trip we're in the city and following a rushed lunch we're in the cinema watching pretty CGI. We'd opted out of paying for the extra dimension and were seeing the regular 2D release. I'd heard the 3D wasn't anything great so I wasn't fussy. The film is a visual masterpiece filled with incredible designs and precision execution, I really dug the look of the card soldiers. But once you move past its good looks the film is a terrible exercise in mediocrity and struggled to hold my interest.

Depp is rather sadly the lowpoint in all of this, his wierd and wacky character act growing ever tiring and dull with each Burton film he lends it to. Thankfully this is alleviated by some stellar voice acting from Alan Rickman (Absalom), Stephen Fry (Cheshire Cat) and Helena Bonham Carter (the Red Queen). But a rather dull story coupled with far too much of Depps increasingly hammy acting turns what could have been enjoyable into something quite average. My friends express similar opinions as we leave, overall it wasn't a great experience.

We part our seperate ways soon after the film and return to the burbs. I believe it's sunk into Louis's head at this point that I'm rather annoyed at him so rather than risking my wrath we go to a restarant where he appeases me with cake. Cake truly solves all problems, cake and ice cream. After we have had our cake and eaten it we mosey down the street to the local supermarket to pick up snacks for later. My waning concentration caused by a belly full of cake and a strained bladder made it hard to decide on what to buy. My indifference and Louis nagging me to tell him what I wanted led to an odd exchange that culminates with the purchase of 250g of goats cheese.

L: "What do you want?"

M: (Having seen some on the shelf I jokingly reply with) "Goats milk."

L: "Why?"

M: "To make goats cheese of course."

L: "Why don't we just get some goats cheese then?"

M: "But then we'd need some figs."

L: "Why?"

M: "Because figs and goats cheese is delicious."

L: "I have fig jam at home."

I soon realise Louis is taking me seriously about getting goats cheese. Sure I like goats cheese and I do like it with figs but I was sort of joking. Before long though we're at the cheese counter and Louis is picking out a nice goats cheese. It's at this point I should probably mention that Louis is rather french. Not actually a french national but rather french all the same, likely due to the fact his home country was under french control for a while. So as he's quite fluent in French, we often tease him by repeating broken french using horrid pronunciation. Mostly because it's funny to see how uppity he gets when you say "petit pois" as "petite poise".

At any rate the name of the cheese is "Chevre Blanc" so Louis asks for 200g (we end up with 250 due to the counter staff messing up) of "Chev", presumably the correct french pronunciation of the word. The cheese lady, being British, has no idea what he's talking about. Louis is forced to point out and specify the one he wants. Realisation dawns on her face and she says "Oh, the Chev-reh blonk?"

I can see Louis visibly wince at this.

We're soon out of the supermarket and back at his place. We waste a bit of time watching various TV shows on his computer before the unquestioned house mate shows up. Turns out it wasn't him and we're back to the confusing situation of someone breaking in and taking nothing. Louis phones the police again and they're soon round to formally record it as a crime, a lot of paperwork is filled out while I quietly sit in the corner playing around on my netbook. They eventually leave and let Louis know that a forensics investigator will be around tomorrow to search for clues.

We whittle away the rest of the night eating our snack food and watching a film before eventually tiring and going to bed. I make it clear this time that I don't want a repeat of that morning before I finally doze off.

Next up: CSIpod, Curry, Coffee, Convenience and the Conclusion.